Chocoholism

They say that for an alcoholic, traditional holidays are some of the hardest events they have to cope with. Why? Because nearly everyone is drinking some sort of alcohol concoction…whether it be wine with the holiday dinner or whether all the relatives are getting sloshed so that they can stand to be around each other for a few hours. For these reasons, holidays can be very difficult for the reformed drinker. But what about chocoholics? Surely holidays are equally brutal for them.

I know they are for me and I am definitely a chocoholic.

Think about it…nearly every holiday is a chocolate holiday or can be made into a chocolate holiday. The madness starts every year with Valentine’s Day. This is the holiday where wise men who want to show their love (or don’t want to sleep on the couch) buy copious amounts of, hopefully, expensive chocolate for the women in their lives. And how can we women possibly refuse that loving offering? We can’t, so we must consume the chocolate no matter how concerned we are about our waistlines.

Valentine’s Day is followed by one of the chocolatiest holidays of the year…Easter. I mean, for heaven’s sakes, this is the holiday where a cute giant bunny is the one to bring you copious amounts of chocolate so that you can celebrate Easter properly. And who can refuse a bunny? Surely that would be animal cruelty. So, of course, we are forced to eat the chocolate…every last morsel…lest the bunny be insulted.

Then summer comes and apparently we are smart enough not to have any chocolate holidays in the season of few clothes. But I somehow believe, and I know that I am not alone, that any summer long weekend or vacation is really not complete without a giant Toblerone…or two. And, of course, that awesome summer treat, ‘Moose Tracks’ ice cream, is filled with glorious summer chocolate and who can refuse that? Summer traditions demand its consumption.

With the arrival of fall, and Thanksgiving, there is a brief suspension of chocolate consumption as we all bust our buns harvesting and canning and eating large amounts of pumpkin pie. But then, right around the corner is, you guessed it, the chocolate holiday of the year…Halloween. This is when we happily send out our children to seek out and return with copious amounts of chocolate. And, since it’s not really good for the children to eat so much chocolate, we are forced to consume rather a lot of it.

And, finally, we round out the year with Christmas. Do I really need to say more about this chocolate holiday? This is when huge displays of specially wrapped chocolate beckon you whenever you walk into any store. And it’s all on sale!! And, of course, you must purchase copious amounts of it so that you can serve it to your guests at every holiday occasion. And you must purchase it early…so that you can test all of it before you actually entertain.

Throughout it all there are birthdays and anniversaries and other dates that chocolate is indelibly intertwined with. So I leave you all with this grim truth. Chocoholism is a serious condition that is almost impossible to fight as long as chocolate is seen as being so socially acceptable. As a chocoholic, my only choice is to either refuse to celebrate these holidays or tape my mouth shut at these celebrations. And surely that’s not the answer. So I will politely consume all the chocolate that is put in front of me (and whatever is hidden in the cupboard!) until society recognizes how serious this problem is. Or until I explode…whichever comes first!!